A letter to my daughter

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To my girl -

I can’t believe that we are four days away from your due date. I have been overwhelmed with so many different emotions the past week and the fact that we are finally in the actual home stretch is surreal. I feel like I’ve been waiting to meet you my entire life! A full 10 months with you in my tummy has been magical. Pregnancy is not always easy: I was sick for a good six months, the elevator at work was out that entire time, I had to nearly beg people to give up their seat to me on Bart while commuting, and I got a pinched nerve in my back that made it difficult to walk comfortably. I would do it all over again though knowing that you’re what’s at the end of this journey.

Your daddy and I just did our 23 and Me’s and know we have a better idea of what your actual genetic makeup will be - it’s so cool and crazy!

I am so anxious to meet you because I wonder if when I see you I’ll feel like I knew you forever, or if I’ll feel like YOU’RE the little stranger that’s been kicking me, hiccuping and moving a ton when I eat ice and drink cold water, or try to go to sleep.

There are so many things I have been thinking about that I want to teach you: how to be kind, compassionate, strong, determined, confident, caring, accepting, and so much more - but we have time for that. I already feel like my leave is flying by and I don’t even have you yet, and I want you so bad so that I can spend as much time with you as possible before I have to go back to work. I’ve loved having a few last days with your daddy where we can just laugh, I can complain about how uncomfortable I am for the last few times, and we can joke about me barely being able to get up from the sofa, get in the car, or roll from side to side in bed without making a ton of noise and grunting. (May not sound that fun, but we laugh about it all the damn time!)

I am so anxious, nervous, excited, hopeful, terrified and every emotion in between. I’m afraid for labor, but I’m so excited to finally go into labor because I know that means you’re almost here. I am hoping that you’ll arrive early - meaning, the next three days!! It’s crazy to think that nothing will ever be the same once you get here, but I know as soon as you arrive I’ll have a sense of peace and won’t know how we ever had a life without you. Your dad and I have had a good 11 years together without you so far - so it’s definitely time for you to join us!!

There are so many people who already love and adore you - and I know you’re going to be so spoiled by our families. I’ll do my best to keep you humble, but your family LOVES you so deeply already that I’m sure they’ll give you whatever you want (and who am I kidding, so will I).

You have a fantastic wardrobe already, and I hope that you like the color pink, because your nursery and a majority of your outfits are pink! I didn’t even plan on that necessarily, but it just felt so right when we were going through stores, online catalogues and more; looking for items that made sense for you.

Whenever you decide to arrive, know that I will always be so proud of you. I will support any dream you have, support whomever you end up being, and love you unconditionally. Your dad and I have talked about how we want to raise you and the most important thing is that you’re happy. We will do our best of course, but know we will hit bumps in the road and anticipate learning a lot from you. Life won’t always be easy - and I dread thinking about you getting your heart hurt, ever being bullied, or not getting something you’ve worked hard for. I know all of those feelings well though, so I think I’m capable of helping you cope through anything, and we’ll have a lot to teach your dad as you become a teenager!!! As you venture into life and grow older as a little mixed nugget, I’m sure you’ll have questions, concerns, and wonder about where you fit. We’re prepared to help you answer that the best we can (we think).

In the meantime, we want to enjoy you being a tiny newborn (or a big newborn, TBD!) and needing us unconditionally. I’ll worry when I lay you down to sleep, and check on you a billion times to make sure everything is ok. I probably won’t sleep at all, and will feel like “finally” when you cry or move and signal it’s my “time” to feed you or get up and hold you. I know I’ll have a hard time letting you “cry it out” and not being your bestie when I go back to work and miss moments of your growth, but I know dad will become a video guru and send me your special moments.

Whenever you decide to make your appearance, we LOVE you more than life itself. For all of those that are new to my blog or didn’t see the poem I wrote you when we found out your gender, I’m going to share it here again. I’m thinking of getting it framed for your room because I love it so much.

We can’t wait to meet you, and I can’t believe I’ve kept your name under wraps this entire time!!! I can’t wait to announce it to the world when you make your big debut!!

Love always,

Mama bear

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Baby Girl’s Gender Reveal Poem

Ten little fingers, and ten little toes 
We’re hoping for a sweet button nose 
With long little legs and long little arms 
We promise to always protect you from harm 
It seems like forever that we’ve waited to know 
Who you will become as you learn and you grow 
A little boy or a little girl 
You’re already our entire world 
Our family is dying and ready to know 
Anticipating the gender based on how I’m starting to show 
Cars or crowns, ballet slippers or basketballs 
Whatever you want in life, daddy will give you it all 
Moms always wanted a little sweet baby
And I’m thinking it’s time to share the news maybe 
After all of the guessing of what you will be 
We’ve finally found out and were surprised as can be 
We promise to give you the whole entire world 
And can’t wait to welcome you, little baby GIRL